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Writer's pictureG.C.Nightwalker

Borderlands: The quintessential example of a junk food movie.


Borderlands

I think I enjoyed this movie way more than I would have otherwise because after booking the ticket I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was indeed a dinner theatre, I did not know that.


And while yes it was fun having people deliver food to me, I do not believe you have come here for that, you have indeed come here to know about the movie. What about it?


As such this movie convinced me that why you are going to the theatre along with what you are expecting can and does play a huge role in how much you enjoy a movie or as some call it, a movie experience.


Most movies try to cancel out for random out of control factors like the above though, trying to establish what you would or should be looking for based on the few initial minutes of the movie, obviously that may or may not conflict with what a person wants but generally if you go to a movie it is because you liked its trailers.


Therefor the trailer also plays a huge role in the success of a movie, one may think that it is better to make a shallow movie that anyone can enjoy because taking too strong of a stance may lead to loosing potential audience(did I just break down every Hollywood executive?) but in reality Random factors such as the quality of the theatre you go to are so random that they are impossible to control for.


In general Movies that set up what they have set out to do from the start and stick to it, do better than those that do not.

Borderlands

Borderlands does not do the best job setting up what it is out to do, in fact it begins with a narration exposition dump about what the back story of the movie is. and as such it can only be enjoyed by someone who is already invested in what they are watching.


So the main audience for this is the fans of the game? What's the big deal?


Well that is a tricky subject cause then you run into the problem of whether the characters on screen are similar to what the players experienced in the games, and apparently, from what I am hearing, they are not.


So that is a problem....


So what did I feel about this movie?


Well let me begin by saying that I have not played any of the Borderlands games but I have always had a certain passig curiosity towards them, and I have always particularly liked the unique and distinct art-style. And Borderlands Humor, based on what little I have seen here and there, has always been balancing on a knife's edge, in the sense that it can very easily get annoying, but it is not.


So what happens in the movie is, a lot of the movie comes across as peak, "Hello fellow kids", basically what rich out of touch executives seem to think Kids today find cool.


The only thing this movie has going for it is that it somehow, successfully convinced me to actually play the actual games, and if that was the goal, it succeeded.

Borderlands

You know take me and convince me in particular to finally play the game, just me in particular.


Because the movie doesn't have much else going for it, Now look, I understand that the Vault hunting is a big part of the Borderlands game, but it... I think it's supposed to be a parody? Like this movie actually doesn't seem to get it, and somehow made this Mc Guffin hunt the actual point of the movie.


Even Kate Blanchett's Lillith, who seems to be extremely disinterested in the whole Vault Hunting thing, is eventually pulled into it.


The Movie does try to have heart, especially with Tiny Tina and the reformed "Psycho" whose name I forgot, but even that is very generic if I do say so myself.


And by the end they hit the entire Generic plot Bingo, and gave Kate Blanchett Jesus Christ powers. "The Irridians have given us a Champion" or whatever.


But you know none of that mattered, because I was in such a great mood overall that I somehow ended up enjoying it, and well, maybe if this movie came out many years ago, people would have enjoyed it as well, much like Morbius two it's Morbin Time.


SO! How do you get people to like a bad movie? well now I have an answer, make sure to put them in a good mood, and then put them in a theatre where people take your orders like it is a fancy Restaurant, and you are done! I mean would be hard on the theatre, but who cares.

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